The Glow Up

60th Annual GRAMMY Awards - Arrivals

So, let me start by saying that this post is completely off the dome. How my thoughts come to me are exactly how you’re reading them. If I seem all over the place , that’s why!

I wanted to talk about this concept of the “glow up” or transformation that we have heard so much about these last few years mainly in the arts via social media. There are so many songs titled “Glow Up” or “Glowed Up” (KAYTRANADA and Anderson Paak’s song being my fav). Where the artist talks about stunting on people and showing signs of success after enduring a rough or less fortunate time in their lives. With that being said, what does “glow up” actually mean?

According to Urban Dictionary (which is credible, right? LOL), to glow up means to “go from the bottom to the top to the point of disbelief. An incredible transformation.” I completely agree with this definition. I can’t help but think of Cardi B who (is my cousin in my head) in seemingly 12 to 24 months or so went from being a funny a woman that I followed on IG and a reality tv star to a multi-millionaire whose music you hear on any and every radio station. She is literally my ultimate definition of a glow up! Here’s why:

She changed, yet she stayed the same. I feel like in general when we talk about so and so who glowed up or “I’m on my glow up”, we are strictly talking about the outside appearance. We are talking about our summer body that we earned or a new stream of income that has allowed us to buy a house, travel frequently or afford designer so we look like we are winning (all of those things are great, but the outside can be everything while the inside is in shambles). That’s not Cardi B. The only way she changed physically was by getting veneers. Her physical appearance, humor, and work ethic are the same. She glowed up via the checks she’s getting and how she can impact her family’s future because of said checks. She’s still her funny and playful self (which I love, because…duh.).

Why did I feel like it was necessary to write this? Because we shouldn’t think that the glow up is just physical. Sometimes, it’s not about the physical appearance at all. To me, glowing up is about being brave enough to seek the help you need to be a better person for yourself, your family, and those that are waiting for you to impact their life. It’s seeing the positive results of your hard work. It’s being the very baddest woman you know how to be! Social media can sometimes make it hard to have a solid opinion on something because there are so many other opinions out there. Stand in your own truth!


February Freeze

Bored? Hop on Facebook and scroll away. Have a few free moments while you wait for your car to be washed? Go look on Instagram. A stranger is about to approach you and you’re content with being antisocial? See what’s good on Snapchat. Commercial break during How to Get Away With Shmurder? See what’s poppin’ on Twitter.

I don’t know about you, but it took me a while to realize that social media was a place that I would drift off to without necessarily even realizing it. It’s fun to engage with those you know and those you don’t know, but for me, I started to realize these apps didn’t always help me to feel the way I desired.

After opening IG or Snap several times a day, I would be left annoyed by a lot of the things I saw. At that point, I decided to clean up my following list. Any account that I followed that did not help me to feel encouraged or even laugh, I deleted. That certainly helped. But, after while I still felt like these platforms just made me so damn tired.


The month of February was my period to clear my head of social media and find a better use of that time and fill it with something that helped to me to feel how I desired. So what did I do? I picked up a couple of books (and finished them), I took a real estate class online, I cooked new vegan meals for my daughter, I enjoyed silence (after my LO’s bedtime, of course), and I watched lots of Netflix and Hulu (no commercials, no temptation). Nothing special at all, but it helped my mood and overall sense of well-being.

So why am I telling you about this? Because too much of anything can be bad. I felt like I was on SM way too much (and I really don’t even dabble in Facebook and Twitter). It’s always good to take a step back and reassess the things you do daily without giving them much thought (except brushing your teeth and showering- do those regardless!). I’m thinking that a freeze may be good for me every other month or so…I’ll have to see. One thing is for sure though, February freeze opened my eyes to how I get on social media subconsciously and how they effect my life in a not so positive way.

Try doing a freeze month and let me know how it goes!

Self Care

I would like to think that Solange coined the term “self care” in her song “Borderline (An Ode to Self Care)” in 2016, but the truth is that the term and idea of self care was popping way before that. It encompasses everything from hygiene and health habits to behavioral economics and mental health. But, as for me and my life, it really didn’t resonate with me until I became a mother.

What exactly is self care? Self care is any activity that we deliberately do to care for our mental, physical, and emotional health. For me, it may or may not be something that I enjoy doing, but the outcome always benefits my health and life overall which helps me be a balanced, kind, and easy-going person. Self-care activities have been a priority for me lately as it helps me be the best me I can be which means I’m the best mother I can be to my daughter.

Looking back, when I first started practicing self-care it was very surface. Don’t get me wrong- I was doing things that benefited me, but they didn’t necessarily help me be balanced. Activities like weekly shellac manis/pedis, bi-weekly massages, and shopping too regularly ( I would justify my purchases by telling myself the clothes, shoes, and toys were for my daughter, but they were actually for me ). After while, those things get super old and while they might be considered “beneficial” in a way, when it comes to longevity it just doesn’t cut it.

So, I changed the game for myself. I got a therapist (MAJOR KEY ALERT-BEST INVESTMENT…EVER!). I logged off of social media. I went vegan for a long while. I was always either reading a book, listening to a book, or listening to a podcast. I started working with a new personal trainer (more about that later) to bring more challenges and  focus to my workouts. I focused on my business. I stopped caring about things that weren’t my business. I quit tripping about the small and dumb shit.  I started to make a habit of praying when I felt that nudge…and even when I didn’t.  And most importantly, I learned how to gas myself (can’t tell me anything LOL).

These activities have brought so much happiness and balance to my life. I truly feel that learning this lesson when I did will make my daughter’s childhood more rich and loving. I hope that as I continue to grow as a woman and mother that these activities will continue to change and shift. I’m looking forward to the growth!

I would encourage anyone whether man or woman, parent or not to ask themselves what activities would help to balance them and bring them more happiness. It won’t always be something you want to do, but your life will thank you for it.

2017 Takeaways

So, here we are. Another 12 months is coming to a close. Did it fly by for you, too? I’m talking lightening speeds! They say, “time flies when you’re having fun”, and although I had a lot of fun this year, it was also super challenging. The shifts that this year brought caused both highs and lows. From those experiences, here are some keys that I’m taking with me into 2018.

  1. You gotta nourish in order to flourish. Self-care is so real! Before I became a mother, this was something I didn’t give much thought to. I would just do things for myself automatically. Now, I have to care for myself with more intention than ever. I am at my best when I take care of me first. Some of my self-care favs are lifting weights/training, going for a walk with my daughter, reading (memoirs, personal development, fiction), essential oils bath, stretching, making flower arrangements with fresh flowers, treating myself to a facial and/or massage, listening to music, taking a nap (doesn’t happen enough) cooking, and journaling. These activities help me perform all of my duties better (and be a nicer person).
  2. Dear heart, have patience. It’s been encouraging to watch God develop patience in me over the last ten years or so. But, this year has been the culmination of my patience journey (ha!). My mother and I were talking the other day about patience in romantic relationships. She reminded me that there was a time when I did not want to have children, and now I have a daughter and God has given me the patience to care for her and love her the way she needs. If that’s not the truth! My little one demands patience. Business also demands patience as well. I am very goal-oriented -I decide what I want, figure out the steps on how to make it happen, work the plan, get to the goal, then it’s on to the next. Which is fine, but when there are extenuating circumstances that are completely out of my control, a struggle ensues. I’ve learned to stay the course no matter what. If it’s meant to happen, I rest in the fact that it will.
  3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Never let anyone get comfortable with disrespecting you. Forgiveness is cool, but it doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. People can sometimes take advantage of your forgiveness. Be wise.
  4. “I deserve…” (in my Mama Dee voice). Start every decision you make about yourself with, “I deserve…”. It has really helped me cut through the bullshit. Sometimes, I might want something that isn’t the best for me. If I say to myself, “Yeah, I want that, but I deserve __________.” It makes my decision making process smoother and I can move onto something else.
  5. Flower power! Give people their flowers while they are still here. Meaning, show and tell them that you appreciate them. Tell them you forgive them and mean it wholeheartedly. Adore your loved ones every single second, even if they’re getting on your nerves. Life is but a mist and you or I can be here today and gone tomorrow. Be grateful for the people in your life.
  6. Friends…how many of us have them? I cut ties with a few friends this year and although it was hurtful to do so, it was necessary. When people continuously fail to show up for you and/or disrespect you, you gotta bounce. No matter how long you’ve been friends. Things and people change, so make your proper adjustments. No love lost, you just have to do right by you.
  7. It’s none of my business, it’s none of my business. Ode to my favorite meme of 2017 LOL. But, in all seriousness, if it doesn’t have anything to do with me or my family (and in certain instances even if it does), miss me with it because it’s none of my business. Too much time gets wasted on what so and so is or isn’t doing. All the while, real business isn’t being tended to the way it should. Refusing to get into OPB (other people’s business) is a sure way to not get emotionally involved or talk down on something that doesn’t have your name in it. Besides, what’s it to you?

8. Love Galore. Love people regardless. The challenge is in being kind and showing love to people despite what they might have done to you. I’m seriously working on this and I desire to have this kind of heart (my mother is this way and it’s amazing). If they want to throw shade, let them and continue to be loving. If they want to abandon their responsibilities, let them and continue to pray for them and be kind at every interaction with them. It helps keep the heart free and clear of resentment. Besides, they have the issue, not you.

These are just a few of the takeaways/lessons I learned in 2017. Man, I’m so grateful that I made it and that I’m going into 2018 with an optimistic mindset and a full heart. Happy New Year everyone!


Seriously my favorite song right now. Jamila Woods is so a FOREVER MOOD.

My cup is full up, what I got is enough, nobody completes me, don’t mess with my love. Surely, surely, surely, surely goodness and mercy shall follow me, shall follow me, shall follow me…


The Hardest Thing I’ve Ever Had to Do

We’ve all been through difficult and/or hurtful situations in our lives. It’s safe to say that no one is exempt – a tough time will come. Well, this past year I’ve been working through the most hurtful ordeal I’ve ever encountered. I was advised to take my time in writing about this, and I’m glad that I did (a year to be exact). I feel that if I wrote this months ago, it would be coming from a place of resentment and bitterness. I’m happy to say that this is coming from a place of strength and love. So, what happened?

The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do was be a good mother while my heart was breaking.


Twenty weeks into my pregnancy, my daughter’s father decided he no longer wanted to be supportive. Instead, he wanted nothing to do with me or my daughter. After my initial devastation passed, I felt like I was okay. I continued to be completely elated that I was bringing this life into the world. However, the reality of my daughter’s father’s decision set it soon after she was born. The fact that she was half of him and yet he did not want to be around was mind boggling to me. To this day, I do not understand that frame of mind.

Imagining how she would grow up without him even so much as making an effort to know her broke my heart and made me terribly sad. I was talking with my own father about it and he reminded me that she has so much love around her! He also reminded me that God is her Father and that is what matters the most. That fact along with love from my daughter, being able to talk with someone about it, prayer, and time has brought about a lot of healing and I’m grateful.

My daughter is the real MVP. There were some days that were really rough, but her big bright eyes and lovely smile caused me to be strong and push through my emotions in order to go above and beyond for her – because she deserves everything I have to give plus more. She has helped me to realize that self-care is so real. I have to take great care of myself (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) in order to pour love into her the way that she needs. I have refused to pour love into her from a broken heart; that would mean she wouldn’t be getting the best of me and all I have to give. I can’t have that. I cannot say enough how grateful I am for her. I might have given her life, but she has helped me to get mine back on track.

Heartbreak comes and it goes. Life goes on and gets better. Be strong, love with everything you have, extract the lessons, and let go of the pain.

My Postpartum Fitness Journey – THE REAL!

Let me just start by saying that I am not a member of team Snapback! While I was pregnant, I enjoyed it. I worked out vigorously, however, I ate what I wanted most days, I had never been a sweet tooth type, but pregnancy will have you doing and eating some things you never thought you would! So, I gained a total of 50 lbs while pregnant. I weighed 204 lbs at delivery. Two months later in January 2017, I weighed 183.5 lbs. By the end of February 2017, I was back to delivery day weight. So sis, what happened???

2016-11-26 11.44.21

21 days postpartum

I really dealt with a lot being a new mother as I’m sure most do. I mean, its literally the hardest and most rewarding job/responsibility I’ve ever had. I had been doing it all own my own since June 2016 at four months pregnant, but when my daughter arrived, it became much, much harder. Not only was I not sleeping, showering regularly, and getting enough sunshine, I was starving myself during the day and binging at night. I didn’t have a whole lot of time to eat during the day even if I had help (because I’m so type A it’s disgusting lol), so at night after my angel was asleep, I would go HAM! Next thing I know, I’m 200 plus pounds again.

Fast forward to April 2017, I went to see my OB/GYN for my well woman and bloodwork. Turns out, I had postpartum thyroiditis (more info here ).This is where (postpartum) a woman experiences a period of hyperthyroidism which includes symptoms of high metabolism (weight loss), irritability, anxiety, insomnia, and fatigue. Sounds like the symptoms of having a newborn, right? Well, after this period which can last for weeks to months, the thyroid either goes back to normal or a hypothyroidism period is experienced where the symptoms are low metabolism (trouble losing weight), dry skin, trouble concentrating, and overall tiredness. By the time I was diagnosed, I was in the hypothyroidism phase. Even though I was eating clean and working out consistently, the scale wasn’t tipping. Now, I’ve been a doer all of my life, and there’s nothing more frustrating than doing what you’re supposed to do and not being able to get the results you’re supposed to get! There was a lesson in there and I didn’t miss it.

Fast forward once again to September 2017, I went to see my PCP for a checkup. She ran my bloodwork after I had told her about my postpartum thyroiditis. My thyroid levels were finally back to normal! I could finally get back to myself! Talk about being grateful! So was it just time that allowed my body to heal or something else? Let me tell you what I did different…

I changed my diet. Totally changed it.

Before I had my daughter, I had thoughts of raising her to be vegan (reasons why are for anther post). I didn’t really act on it until she started eating solids at around six months old (May 2017). I had done a ton of research and thought to myself, “If she’s going to be vegan, I should be, too. I’m her mama. I’m her example.” So, that’s exactly what I did. We went of a vegetarian diet for a couple of months, then we went vegan. It’s been an awesome experience thus far. To watch my 12-month old eat roasted brussel sprouts, curry tofu, raw red bell peppers and hummus, etc. is so amazing to me. She even likes the pea milk (Ripple Milk) I give her in place of cow’s milk. She will go in the pantry and get the tub of pea protein powder (say that 3x fast) so I can make her a shake LOL. It’s awesome! So my diet is her diet. We literally eat the same things and it’s both healthy and economical. And that has helped my thyroid go back to normal along with exercise. I’m glad to see the scale begin to tip finally!

This is where I stand today:

Starting Weight – 204.1lbs

Current Weight – 194.2lbs

Bust – 41″

Arms – 13.7″

Waist – 35.8″

Hips – 43″

Thighs – 25.5″

Here are my pics as of today. I’m starting a 16-week challenge today and I’m excited to see results. Do work!!!

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Happy 1st Birthday, Avery!

Being a mother has brought a whole new meaning to, “Time flies when you’re having fun”. While this last year has been full of adjustments, sleepless nights, and tears, it has also been full of love, laughs, and amazing milestones. I’m grateful for every second of it.

To celebrate Avery’s 1st birthday, I had a party for her and it was a great time. She dressed in a purple ‘Loved’ onesie and metallic silver tutu with Chucks. We were joined by my parents, Avery’s cousins, uncles, and her two favorite aunts. Avery thoroughly enjoyed her smash cake LOL. Check out a few pics below:

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Pregnancy After Hip Replacement Surgery: Follow Up

You can literally find everything on Google (aka our friend Googlecia). But, when it comes to the subject of pregnancy post hip replacement(s), the most recent information you’ll find is studies published over ten years ago. While some of that information may still be relevant, medicine has advanced since then (thank God). Plus, I always like to believe that I (experience) am my most valuable and accurate source. With that being said, I’d like to share a bit of what I experienced post hip replacement and during my pregnancy.

Most of what you’ll read from our friend Googlecia will tell you that you should wait at least two years prior to becoming pregnant after having hip replacement surgery. But wait…what about unplanned pregnancy??? I had my right hip done March 2015 and my left hip done May 2015. I got pregnant in February 2016 – n ot even a year after my first surgery. I immediately ran to Googlecia and we already know what she said. That was scary for me, but I knew my body and had worked extremely hard to get in what I’ll call the best shape of my life thus far (thanks to my trainer and my daughter’s father). While I did not run after my surgeries (the impact of running lessens the lifespan of the prosthesis), I literally did everything else – back squats, yoga, flipping tires, hours on the StairMaster, jumping, and deadlifts. It was truly amazing to watch my range of motion go from 45 degrees, to 90 degrees, to ass to grass on my back squats. So many tears of joy were shed in the gym.

With that being said, I continued to train hard in the gym during my pregnancy. Research shows that it is recommended that you workout through your pregnancy even at intense levels (if you had already been training at those levels). I really believe this helped me to have zero hip issues while I carried my daughter, retain a ton of muscle, and maintain a good attitude and happy mood. I never once had pains in my hips, even though I gained 50 lbs while I was pregnant.

As for my actually delivery, this was the part that made me nervous. Was I going to be able to give birth vaginally? Was I going to have to have a c-section? What complications would I face? Let me backtrack a little and say that my doctor was completely confident in my ability to give birth vaginally from my first visit with her. Her confidence made me feel better, but once we pulled up to the hospital and it was showtime, I had to battle feelings of doubt. They didn’t last too long though, I had to focus on those contractions! Lord, have mercy! Nothing could’ve prepared me for those! To make a long story short, I was in labor from 5p-3a. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter vaginally just after seven ( this number is the symbol of perfection…and she is oh so perfect!) pushes. God is mind-blowing!

As I am writing this, I am nine months postpartum. I haven’t had a single issue with my hips and I’m so grateful. Having both of my hips replaced when I did was one of the best things I’ve done in my life. I can now squat and pick something up off of the floor while holding my daughter, put her in her car seat, take her on long walks, play on the floor with her, and do all the things a mommy needs to all while being pain free.

So, if you’re pondering hip replacement surgery and want a family or are surprised like I was, don’t worry. If you’re active, continue to be active. If you’re not active, start today. I would not suggest going into the gym and trying to be a beast, but get moving in some capacity. I know it’s hard when you’re in pain, but if you can, do something low impact like the elliptical machine (I lived on the elliptical before my surgeries). It’ll pay dividends later.

I hope this help you. If there’s anything you’d like to ask me, don’t hesitate to reach out!

5 Things I’ve Learned Since Becoming A Single Momprenuer


Hi there! So the past several months have proven to be quite interesting since I’ve become a mommy. Motherhood is even more amazing than I thought it would be, and my daughter is literally all things marvelous! God couldn’t have given me a greater blessing and I am eternally grateful that He has entrusted me with such a precious gift. She is teaching me so much about myself…I am training her up and vice versa!

If you know me personally, you know I’m alpha and the epitome of Type A…like, I can’t help it, not one bit. I’ve embraced my strong/assertive/somewhat controlling characteristics over the years, but initially, when it came to caring for my child, I found myself in a weird space. Let me explain…

We have recently moved into a house in the suburbs and I’m so thankful. It’s a totally different world from my Midtown one bedroom, one bath duplex that I lived in for over 4 years. While I slightly miss the hustle and bustle, I really mourn over the small space I had to clean! I would literally keep my place spotless at all times. Well, in a house with a small child ( and as a single parent), keeping a clean and tidy house takes so much more work (not to mention the fact that home decor is out of the window). Given my erratic schedule (no two days are the same, literally), I don’t always have time to clean up or do a load of laundry every single day. So, I have learned to be okay with the possibility that there might be a sink full of dishes, living room covered in toys, and I just might step on a half-eaten apple sometimes *slowly lets go of control*. It’s totally worth getting to spend more quality time with my little one.

Soooooooo…about work. If you don’t already know, I have been a Realtor for over 10 years. After my daughter was born, I really began to think hard about my legacy (both tangible and intangible) and what I wanted it to look like. Given my love for real estate, it was only natural that I would start my own real estate investment company where I would wholesale, buy/hold, and flip. It’s been super exciting thus far! However, managing my own clients and my investing company has been…interesting.

These are some of the helpful tidbits that I’ve learned since becoming a single momprenuer. I hope they help you, too!

  1. Chill out! You don’t have to do it all, all the time! This is huge. No one can be everything to everybody all the time, nor should we want to. This is where prioritizing your day comes in. Before I became a mom, I would prioritize my day according to what was going to make me money. For example, the money tasks would be A and B, and C would be something personal like going to the grocery store. Now that I am a mom, my priorities start with my daughter, then to what makes me money, then to my maintaining household. Strictly in that order and one at a time. Trying to do too many things at once means that you’re probably not doing each of them well, so chill out and don’t spread yourself too thin.
  2. Plan, then prepare. Failure to plan is planning to fail, right? This has always been a big deal for me, but it has been a major key since I’ve become a single momprenuer. In the middle of the current week, I start planning for day to day activities for the following week. Day to day activities being our meal menu, workouts, errands, meetings (if they aren’t already on the calendar), play dates, family time, laundry, and cleaning. Mommy life has intensified my commitment to sticking to a task list and schedule because, if I don’t get things done in their allotted time, it doesn’t get done (in some instances, that’s perfectly fine!). I also prepare meals and clothes (ironing and set them out) for the week for my daughter and I on Sunday afternoons.
  3. Keep the main thing the main thing. The main thing being what is most important to you. This is going to be different for everybody. Because I have so many different things going on, it’s common for things to overlap. That’s when I have to remind myself of what my main thing is. For me, it’s being a mother and getting to spend as much quality time as possible with my little one. So, when it comes down to a networking event with hard money lenders or taking my daughter on a day trip, guess where I’m going? Hitting the road with my baby, of course!
  4. Wake up early! To be honest, it took me a good while to wrap my head around this because 1) I’m not exactly a morning person, and 2) When your child wakes up 2-3 times in the middle of the night to eat, getting up early is the last thing you want to do. This has gotten easier since my daughter sleeps through the night now (YAY). However, sometimes I am up later than I’d like getting work done or just winding down from the day. I don’t let that keep me from waking up early. When I get my day started early, I have time to pray, shower in peace, eat breakfast, and breathe before my daughter wakes up. I actually get out of the house quicker and in a much better mood (which is SO important). Who wants to start their day feeling blah and overwhelmed? Not this mama! So, even if you’ve gotten 4-5 hours of sleep, bite the bullet and get up early. Your mood and productivity will thank you for it.
  5. Say “No”. Say it. Just say it. NO. Doesn’t that feel good? Personally, I’ve never struggled with telling people no I can’t/won’t/refuse to do something. I guess it’s my Type A. But, when you have so many things going on, it can be easy to feel bad for missing a friend’s baby shower, cancelling dinner with your man, or even turning down a business opportunity. Don’t get down on yourself. Remember that you have to take care of yourself FIRST in order to take care of others. So, if you’re being pulled in too many directions or if you aren’t keeping the “main thing” the “main thing”, say no, sis. You’ll feel better once you do.

These are just a few things that have helped me keep my head on straight since entering this new chapter in my life. I am sure as time goes on I will learn more and I’m happy to share those with you as I go. If you are a single momprenuer or someone who keeps a busy schedule, what helps you keep life in order and continually thrive? Please share!