So, here we are. Another 12 months is coming to a close. Did it fly by for you, too? I’m talking lightening speeds! They say, “time flies when you’re having fun”, and although I had a lot of fun this year, it was also super challenging. The shifts that this year brought caused both highs and lows. From those experiences, here are some keys that I’m taking with me into 2018.
- You gotta nourish in order to flourish. Self-care is so real! Before I became a mother, this was something I didn’t give much thought to. I would just do things for myself automatically. Now, I have to care for myself with more intention than ever. I am at my best when I take care of me first. Some of my self-care favs are lifting weights/training, going for a walk with my daughter, reading (memoirs, personal development, fiction), essential oils bath, stretching, making flower arrangements with fresh flowers, treating myself to a facial and/or massage, listening to music, taking a nap (doesn’t happen enough) cooking, and journaling. These activities help me perform all of my duties better (and be a nicer person).
- Dear heart, have patience. It’s been encouraging to watch God develop patience in me over the last ten years or so. But, this year has been the culmination of my patience journey (ha!). My mother and I were talking the other day about patience in romantic relationships. She reminded me that there was a time when I did not want to have children, and now I have a daughter and God has given me the patience to care for her and love her the way she needs. If that’s not the truth! My little one demands patience. Business also demands patience as well. I am very goal-oriented -I decide what I want, figure out the steps on how to make it happen, work the plan, get to the goal, then it’s on to the next. Which is fine, but when there are extenuating circumstances that are completely out of my control, a struggle ensues. I’ve learned to stay the course no matter what. If it’s meant to happen, I rest in the fact that it will.
- R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Never let anyone get comfortable with disrespecting you. Forgiveness is cool, but it doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. People can sometimes take advantage of your forgiveness. Be wise.
- “I deserve…” (in my Mama Dee voice). Start every decision you make about yourself with, “I deserve…”. It has really helped me cut through the bullshit. Sometimes, I might want something that isn’t the best for me. If I say to myself, “Yeah, I want that, but I deserve __________.” It makes my decision making process smoother and I can move onto something else.
- Flower power! Give people their flowers while they are still here. Meaning, show and tell them that you appreciate them. Tell them you forgive them and mean it wholeheartedly. Adore your loved ones every single second, even if they’re getting on your nerves. Life is but a mist and you or I can be here today and gone tomorrow. Be grateful for the people in your life.
- Friends…how many of us have them? I cut ties with a few friends this year and although it was hurtful to do so, it was necessary. When people continuously fail to show up for you and/or disrespect you, you gotta bounce. No matter how long you’ve been friends. Things and people change, so make your proper adjustments. No love lost, you just have to do right by you.
- It’s none of my business, it’s none of my business. Ode to my favorite meme of 2017 LOL. But, in all seriousness, if it doesn’t have anything to do with me or my family (and in certain instances even if it does), miss me with it because it’s none of my business. Too much time gets wasted on what so and so is or isn’t doing. All the while, real business isn’t being tended to the way it should. Refusing to get into OPB (other people’s business) is a sure way to not get emotionally involved or talk down on something that doesn’t have your name in it. Besides, what’s it to you?
8. Love Galore. Love people regardless. The challenge is in being kind and showing love to people despite what they might have done to you. I’m seriously working on this and I desire to have this kind of heart (my mother is this way and it’s amazing). If they want to throw shade, let them and continue to be loving. If they want to abandon their responsibilities, let them and continue to pray for them and be kind at every interaction with them. It helps keep the heart free and clear of resentment. Besides, they have the issue, not you.
These are just a few of the takeaways/lessons I learned in 2017. Man, I’m so grateful that I made it and that I’m going into 2018 with an optimistic mindset and a full heart. Happy New Year everyone!